December Wellness Practice

1. Notice the Good. 

We are wired to focus on the negative, and now more than ever it is important to notice how much good there is in the world! Make it a habit of finding at least three ‘goods’ a day, and either share them with a loved one or write them down. 

Take a few moments before you go to sleep, reflecting on what you’re grateful for. In other words, “Count Blessings, not Sheep.” 

2. 20 Seconds Rule: 

You need to savour the good things you notice and let them sink in for at least 20 seconds to be effective. For example, you’ve enjoyed a nice walk, pause, and breathe. Notice how good it feels to take the time to notice. 

Continually during the day, “Pause and Appreciate.”

3. Three-to-One Positivity Ratio: 

We need at least three positive thoughts to counter one negative thought! By doing this, we intentionally seek out and focus on positive thoughts and experiences. “Seek and Focus on the Positive.” 

Life Wisdom from Japan

Here are some very interesting words in the Japanese language, that have striking meanings. Take a moment to try saying them out loud, and contemplate their meanings. Where could you apply these ideas in your own life? 

#1: Oubaitori

  • Never compare yourself.

  • Everyone blossoms in their own time in different ways.

  • Don't judge yourself by someone else's path.

#2: Kaizen

  • Continuously improve.

  • Constantly strive to improve across all areas of your life.

  • Small changes accumulate and make all the difference.

#3: Wabi-sabi

  • Embrace imperfection.

  • Nothing lasts, nothing is complete.

  • Accept your own flaws and those of others.

  • Find beauty in imperfection.

#4: Gaman

  • Have dignity during duress.

  • Hard times need to be met with emotional maturity and self-control. 

  • We need patience, perseverance, and tolerance.

#5: Ikigai

  • Know your reason for being.

  • Define the reason you get up in the morning.

  • Make it something you are good at, passionate about, and that the world needs.

Tap Into Your Senses

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method when feeling anxious.

By tapping into your senses, you bring yourself back to the present moment and anchor yourself there.

Look around and locate five individual things.

Touch four things near you.

Listen for three things you can hear.

Smell two things.

Taste one thing’

Feel free to walk around. And take your time which helps you to relax.

Disempowering Stories 

Do you find yourself sometimes telling yourself a negative "story" about yourself that plays havoc with your confidence? And even worse once you start you continue to embellish it until you feel awful? What can you do to stop this? 

The first step is as soon as you know the story is not in any way going to help you, interrupt it! Imagine if someone came up to talk to you and you constantly interrupted them whenever they tried to get a word out. What do you think they would do? Likely they would give up and walk away. This is exactly what you want your disempowering stories to do. Don’t give them a chance to take you down the rabbit hole. 

Need some ideas for interrupting the stories? Jump around, shake your hands and body, you could even hum loudly! Listen to a nice song, get outside for a walk, find a joke to read. These all fire electrical impulses to your brain to interrupt the negative story.  If you can think of another way to interrupt the story that would work better for you, do that. Have fun interrupting and enjoy how effective this is when done consistently. 

Fade Away Anxiety Symptoms

An anxiety response kicks in when your nervous system senses a threat, even though the perceived threat may not be real. 
What can you do about this false alarm? 
As soon as you know it is not a real threat to your safety act the opposite of how you would act if it was a real emergency, and it will help to reduce anxiety. Start off with saying something like, “thanks anxiety for coming, but you’re not needed now, off you go, I’m actually having fun.”

  • Breathe slowly and deeply, ensuring your exhales are longer than your inhales.

  • Smile.

  • Have an open body posture.

  • Slowly take a couple sips of water (to have moisture in your mouth).

  • Talk softly and calmly.

  • Eat something slowly or chew gum.

  • Hum.

By consistently doing at least one or two of these behaviours when you begin to feel stressed you interrupt the fear response. If it was a real threat, such as a bear chasing you, you wouldn’t be doing any of these behaviours that I have listed!  Therefore, you are sending the message to your nervous system everything is okay, look I’m eating, I’m smiling which adjusts your fear response. 
*Remember: act ‘normal’ during stressful times to quickly change the feedback loop and switch off anxiety fast.

Breathing to Regulate

Breathing to Regulate
Think of your breath as a key barometer for stress. By choosing to ensure your breath is regulated you are purposely responding from a harmonious state rather than reacting out of anger, fear, or any type of discomfort. By consciously regulating your breathing, you can switch from a state of stress to a more harmonious state. 

HOW: Any time you feel conflicted STOP and wait until you can regulate your breath before continuing. Feel your feet on the floor, soften your shoulders and jaw, ‘I choose to make my body comfortable and respond better.’

MAKE IT A HABIT: Check your breath hourly – has it sped up and got shallow? If so, gently nudge your exhale to be a little bit longer than your inhale and take slow deeper inhales. You could even close your eyes and take yourself on a mini vacation in your mind to a beach or forest for a couple of minutes as you consciously breathe to regulate your breath. 
 
If you do this practice for two minutes x 15 times per day that equals 30 minutes a day of stress relief!
 
Warning: You may notice side effects like sleeping better, feeling more relaxed and peaceful!

Shredder Technique Game for Negative Thoughts

Next time you catch yourself with unhelpful thoughts towards yourself, such as “I’m not smart enough, I’ll never lose weight, they didn’t like me, etc.” play the shredder game and stop the negative story you tell yourself. This is what is known as a ‘pattern interrupt’ to break the power and repetitive cycle of negative thoughts.
Here’s how you play:
When a negative thought comes up, imagine yourself putting the thought into a shredder to be shredded into tiny little pieces. Have fun with it, and even make a sound, bzzzzzzzzz! And finish by taking a slow breath in and a long releasing exhale and a smile.
Keep running this pattern interrupter until you break the repetitive cycle of the reoccurring unhelpful negative thought.
I wouldn’t be surprised if your ‘paper shredder’ is one of the best investments you ever made!

Take A Worry-Free Day for Your Health!
What about taking a worry-free day? Have you ever done that?
Here’s how it works, pick a day, any day, today could be the perfect day to do it.

Upon awakening, tell yourself today is an official ‘do not worry day’, a complete rest from all worry! Remind yourself it is a day to take a breather from all the worries of the world and your personal worries. It is a day to enjoy, to give thanks, to play, and take a break from the news.

Every time a worry comes up tell the worry “Oh, didn’t you hear, today is a worry-free day, come back tomorrow.” Intentionally let your shoulders and face soften, they don’t need to sneak in and do the worrying for you. Check in with yourself at the end of the day and notice how you feel.

A worry-free day is so good for your mental health you just might make it a habit once a week!

What Voice To Listen To?

Many of us have very loud critical voices that run through our heads. Have you ever asked yourself what you gain from criticizing yourself? You might think, "Well, if I criticize myself then I’ll do better, it will motivate me to succeed." If that was true, then why does it make you feel so bad?

Think about getting a tennis lesson for your birthday. Excitedly you arrive at your lesson and the instructor scowls at you and hits a ball to you. You completely miss the ball. The instructor yells “You idiot, watch the ball”, and then they hit another ball to you a little way away from where you are standing and they yell at you “What do you have in those legs? Cement? Move your lazy legs!” How do you think you are going to do with the next ball that is hit to you? Likely, after that lesson you will dejectedly go home feeling like a loser.

Now picture yourself excitedly going to the tennis court and the instructor gives you a big smile, and hits the ball gently over to you and you miss, and they say “That’s alright, what will help is keeping your eye on the ball as it comes to you, and that definitely takes practice so be patient with yourself”, and they hit another ball and you don’t get to it in time, and they smile, and say “Great effort, it takes a while to get the footwork down.” Does it matter how you do on the next ball? It does not because you are learning and you understand it takes practice which you will happily do, and most importantly you are enjoying yourself. You will go home feeling good and looking forward to more tennis.

Sometimes it is hard to realize that you do not have to listen to that inner critical voice! It is 100% your choice to listen to the bully or not. Simply come up with a system “off you go”, or “not interested” to the bully, and engage with your cheerleader instead. You do have 100% control!

A growing Research base shows that learning to be kind to ourselves is one of, if not the, single most powerful antidote to suffering with anxiety, fear, and other forms of emotional pain.

I repeat being kind to ourselves is what we need to do to help ourselves!

If we don’t want to live in a world where people are cruel and unhelpful to others - why would we allow ourselves to listen to a voice that makes us miserable? Don’t we want our world to be a kinder, more empathetic world? If we are kind to ourselves then we are contributing to a kinder, more empathetic world. That is reason enough to be kind to yourself!

Tell A Tree Your Troubles

If your mind feels troubled and you don’t want to share it, go find a tree and ask if it’s okay to tell your tree your worries. And then tell the tree all that’s on your mind. Really tell the tree everything. And after you are finished maybe even give the tree a hug and thank it for listening to you. Look around - does everything seem a little more manageable?

Benefits:

  • Often vocalizing is a way of releasing thoughts, rather than letting them continue to swirl around in your head 

  • When you hug a tree, you release a hormone called oxytocin – known as the hormone of all the warm & fuzzy feelings and has been shown to lower stress and anxiety.

There is always a tree willing to listen to you, who knows you may even get an answer…

Wellness Practice of the Month - Read

Did you know May is "GET CAUGHT READING MONTH"?
This dedicated month began in 1999 to raise awareness around the advantages of indulging in literature.

Benefits:

  • Reading has meditative qualities by keeping the brain fully focused on a single task, which is proven to reduce stress and enhance relaxation.

  • Reading strengthens connections in our brain, consider it an 'exercise' for the brain.

  • Reading gives you new knowledge and ideas, integral for keeping up in an ever changing world.

  • Reading improves memory and concentration.

  • Reading helps us to relax by lowering or heart rate and easing muscle tension.

  • Reading is an opportunity to change the scenery, go an adventure from the comfort of your own home, and recharge your batteries.

Recommended Time to Read to Get Benefits:
Read 15 – 30 minutes daily. Don't make it another ‘have to do’ on your list, make it a ‘get to do’ that is beneficial and pleasurable. Remember, it is no big deal if you miss a day!

Reading Tips:
*Try a paper book for 20 minutes before bed rather than reading on your kindle or phone (too much light before bed throws off our biological clock)
*20 minutes with meaningful pieces is much more effective than 2 hours of gossip columns.
*By cutting out three 10-minute social media checks a day means you could read as many as 30 more books a year!

Penpals

Years ago, it was quite popular to have a pen pal who you exchanged letters with, telling each other about your life, and your news. A kind of fun confidante who you may never meet in person.

An exercise to try: Imagine a fictional pen pal, and write a letter to them. You could talk about your accomplishments recently, your happy moments, and also include your worries and experiences that haven’t gone so well. The only requirement is you must be honest, because that is what pen pal relationships are all about.

If you were to take it one step further, write a letter every day for two weeks to your pen pal. What do you think you would notice? Would there be a theme? Would the letters be interesting? Would there be a lot of repetition? Would there be laughter? Would there be a lot of being hard on yourself?

These two weeks of letters would give you true insight on how you live your life. After reading them, you might notice simple changes in your life you can implement. You could list them, and then decide on the actions you need to take for your new behaviours. Give having a 'penpal' a try and see what you might learn!

Breathe and Reset

"Breathe", we are told so often, "Just breathe." And yet we forget to do it all the time, especially when we most need to! A great tip is to create a 'reset button'. Make a simple gesture with your hand, such as pushing on one palm or a fingertip, and let that be your signal. Then, whenever you feel yourself tensing up, press it, and remind yourself to breathe, and reset your nervous system.

While you are inhaling you can imagine breathing in the most amazing scent ever, perhaps that of a flower, or maybe of freshly mowed grass - whatever brings you a sense of calmness - nature is very powerful. Whenever we breathe in nature, it takes us out of 'tense mode' and instead opens us up to a much greater source within ourselves. When you exhale, imagine exhaling very slowly as if you are gently blowing out a candle.

So, pause, hit the reset button, breathe in the scent, feel your shoulders and belly soften, and let yourself have that moment of calmness. This gives you some time to decide if it's worth derailing or is there an easier way to stay on the rails.

Simple and powerful and the more we do it the easier and more habitual it becomes!

Resting Breath

Sitting and looking at a screen for long periods of time is detriment towards our health. When our field of vision is small, our breath tends to go small too, and that is exactly what happens to us when we’re at the computer or on our phone. You end up not breathing well because you are not using your full range of breathing muscles. And mistakenly sometimes we may take a break from our computer and look at our phone, but we haven’t changed our breathing because we are still in the same position looking at our device. That is why it is so important to get up at least once every hour to walk around and look at a wide field of vision. Often when you look out at the horizon you sigh, it is a resting breath. Be sure to take several deep resting breaths as you look around at a wide field of vision. Hopefully this becomes a habit!

Procrastination

According to Dr. Fuschia Sirois, a professor of psychology, procrastination is essentially irrational. We know we are avoiding a task that needs to be done and that makes us feel rotten - and yet we avoid it anyhow! It has nothing to do with our ability to focus or manage our time, instead it is a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods, often induced by anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt. Dr. Sirois says “Put simply, procrastination is about being more focused on the immediate urgency of managing negative moods than getting on with the task.” In other words procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem.

Putting off the task provides temporary relief, however only for a short time because we know the task needs to be completed and therefore weighs heavily on our minds. Unfortunately, we can’t just tell ourselves to stop procrastinating. The solution is to manage our emotions in a new way. Once we recognize that we are procrastinating, we need to find a better reward than the temporary relief of avoiding the task. One helpful way is to reframe the task by identifying a positive aspect of it. And then engage in self-compassion. For e.g. “That’s okay and understandable that I don’t want to do it, however, once I have done it, I will feel a great relief, and how will I feel about myself after I have done it?”

Why not make the decision for the month of December to clear up any of your 2021 ‘procrastinations?’ See yourself starting 2022 with a clean slate. What a positive way to start the New Year!

“What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.”
~Vern McLellan

World Kindness Day - A Win, Win Day!

Did you know that acts of kindness release hormones and chemicals into our bodies that help us feel better physically and improves our mood? Which in turn can help reduce inflammation and blood pressure, which eases pain and increases energy.
Helping others lets you get outside of yourself and take a break from the stressors in your own life, which eases anxiety, and this behavior can also make you better equipped to handle stressful situations.

What is the most beneficial act of kindness?
The Journal of Social Psychology conducted a study of 683 adults from different countries and had them either direct kindness towards family and friends, or help strangers, or practice self-kindness and compared them to a control group who lived their lives as usual.
Which form of kindness do you think would be the most beneficial?
There was no change in the control group and surprisingly kindness in any of the forms made people feel equally good! An inspiring study to incorporate kindness into your life in whatever way, shape, or form you can on a daily basis.

Gratitude Practice

What am I grateful for today? Imagine going out and buying a Piggy Bank for yourself. Imagine placing it where you easily see it when you go to bed and when you wake up. (You could even put a physical reminder there). You can look at this magical Piggy Bank as your ‘health boost savings account’ - the fuller your Piggy Bank is the richer you are. You make deposits by waking up in the morning and thinking of something you are grateful for, and when you go to bed at night thinking of something you are grateful for. You can even add to your ‘health boost’ during the day by taking time to pause and acknowledge something you're grateful for.

The catch is if you think of it and then quickly think of something else, the ‘gratitude’ will disappear like in a gust of wind. Instead, to get the physiological benefits you need to really take the time to feel gratitude and absorb it. You could do this by putting your hands gently over your heart centre and then breathing the gratitude into your heart for a few moments. If it helps you can visualize a colour, warmth or softness flowing into your heart and then imagining every cell absorbing the wonderful feeling. Really enjoy a couple of leisurely moments of breathing slowly, and drawing in the gratitude into your heart. End with a nice inner smile to yourself!

Tips

  • Ask yourself why do I have gratitude for this?

  • See if you can continually have different and new gratitudes.

  • Gratitudes can be as simple as appreciating your cup of tea

Interesting Tidbit about Gratitude
Studies have shown you can overdo it – gratitude can become a routine chore, so it is important not to put it into that category! Perhaps it works better for you only a couple of days a week. Experiment with it.

I Don’t Have a Care in the World

Look up to the sky and see the two birds soaring in the wind. Not a care in the world for the birds. Look at the kids in the park laughing and running around, not a care in the world. How can we give ourselves time to not have a care in the world? For everyone it would be different. However, all of us can stop and step off the treadmill of life for five minutes and tell ourselves ‘For five minutes I’m going to give myself the gift of not having a care in the world.’ And then use our unique imagination to take ourself to a beach, a hike, a flight in the sky.
Schedule in five minutes a day for ‘I don’t have a care in the world.’
Your brain and nervous system will thank you! Perfect for any time you need a ‘reset.'

Ball Pass Exercise

This exercise called the 'Ball Pass' is a wonderfully effective exercise to lower anxiety in the moment. It is based on a neuro plastic technique to give the brain a more difficult task to focus on instead of the anxiety. Whenever you begin to feel anxious grab a small ball, or any small object you have handy.

  • Standing comfortably, take the time to soften your shoulders and take a few slow breaths.

  • Open your hands wide with the ball in one hand. Keep the hand without the ball open to the side.

  • Next take your hand with the ball across the center of your body to the other side and place it into your opposite hand.

  • Open your hands wide again and then move the ball to the opposite side.

  • Repeat for 15 – 45 seconds until you notice shifting to a calmer state.

* In order to be effective in the reduction of your anxiety you must be sure to cross the midline to the other side!

To increase the effect of the Ball Pass, try one or all:

  • Close your eyes while passing the ball side to side.

  • Widen your stance.

  • Count (either silently or out loud) the number of passes across the midline. You could maximize this effect by alternating between counting silently and out loud.